Encyclopaedia of Hell: An Invasion Manual for Demons Concerning the Planet Earth and the Human Race Which Infests It by Olson Martin

Author:Olson, Martin [Olson, Martin]
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
Publisher: Perseus Books Group
Published: 2011-06-30T22:00:00+00:00

I had to get that Ring out of my stomach. If I not only failed my mission but also lost the Ring, Lord Satan’s Wrath would be Monstrous. Desperate, I licked some globs of green fughoot oozing from the engine block and tried to vomit. I dry-heaved the fughoot, but no Ring. I grabbed my stomach with both fists, squeezed till I felt the precious Ring inside and tried to squeeze it up my esophagus like a light bulb through a fashion designer’s colon, but it kept slipping down out of my reach.

The timepiece showed one minute left. As I shoved it back in my groin, I noticed that the watch was short-circuiting. It suddenly occurred to me that the time might be wrong. That meant —

The Hellcraft blew sky high. The blast was enormous, not unlike the Magnificent Flatulence of Lord Satan during the Mexican-Eating Contest. I was blasted out of the wreckage and came crashing to the ground amid shards of debris. I staggered to my feet and realized that the body I inhabited was still intact. I saw the other bodies, the two I had shot and the third who was still breathing. I leaned over him to see if he was still alive when I felt a rope thrown around my neck.

A dozen humans in military and Vatican uniforms cuffed me, stuffed me into a canvas bag and carried me away in a vehicle.

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